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The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past.We learn to reparent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.Yet we kept choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic parents.These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism made us "co-victims" -- those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink.Although we had alcoholic parents, our Higher Power gave us the 12 Steps of Recovery.This is the action and work that heals us; we use the Steps: we use the meetings; we use the telephone.You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love.

Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God.Adult Children Anonymous (formerly known as Adult Children of Alcoholics or ACOA) is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes.  We meet with each other in a mutually respectful, safe environment and acknowledge our common experiences.  We discover how childhood affected us in the past and influences us in the present.  We take positive action.  By practicing the Twelve Steps, focusing on the solution, and accepting a loving Higher Power of our understanding, we find freedom from the past and a way to improve our lives today.  The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family.Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic household."The family is dominated by the presence and denial of alcoholism, which becomes a major family secret," says Brown, today director of the Addictions Institute in Menlo Park, California.The secret becomes a governing principle required to hold the family together, the scaffolding for coping strategies and shared beliefs, without which the family might fall apart.

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