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But that said, "these are often things that the wife probably used to do—and should think about doing again." Here, eight little love lessons—from marriage experts, the other woman and a couple of cheating husbands. "Insecurity is a very unattractive trait," she says."It's exhausting to be around." Similarly, don't worry about aging.

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It can be awkward and uncomfortable, exhausting and discouraging.

Perhaps there's another route, a pathway between hopelessness and franticness. Then the unthinkable happened: A woman I truly cared for broke my heart. Maybe you've ended a relationship because the other person didn't measure up. And while I still hold to this belief, some of us take it a step further.

A mindset that recognizes the benefits of dating, while also acknowledging the drawbacks. Devastated, I told God I never again wanted to date, even if it meant a lifetime of singleness. Maybe you too have dated for years without success. We figure our future spouse is our soulmate — a perfect match who will satisfy our every desire, the one person who will finally make us whole.

But this zero-sum mentality leaves us in a precarious position, since, according to this definition, dating is always unsuccessful — until the one time it's not.

That's not to say dating anyone other than your future spouse isn't worthwhile. Even after answering these questions satisfactorily, I never really stopped asking them.




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