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If making conversation is hard for you, suggest an activity for the two of you to do that takes the pressure off of talking. A movie, walk, visit to a museum, bowling—activities like these take the stress off of talking and provide a ready-made focus for more relaxed, less personal conversations. Don’t track your date’s every movements on social media and respond to every one of his or her posts. Most people prefer taking things slow, not rushing into anything and not overdoing getting to know someone. Stress during social situations, constant social misunderstandings, and an inability to understand basic social cues leads to a life of selected social interactions, on a desperate to have basis. So naturally, dating is the worst nightmare someone with AS (autism spectrum) could face. Generally, this is because interacting socially is the most difficult part of having Asperger’s. When it comes to dating, not only is it hard to meet someone you might want to date but when you do it’s even harder to know what it takes to make that date successful. With age and experience, it’s sometimes harder to “get back out there” and try the dating scene again. For many adults with Asperger’s even dating for the first time seems like an insurmountable obstacle.
Focus less about what you want and more about what you need.Typically, people with Asperger’s find it hard to converse in an unstructured setting with no goal, no deadline and no tasks to accomplish.If you’re considering dating, think ahead of time about the best way to carry on a conversation with someone you’re meeting for the first time. Avoid speaking too long about a topic that may not interest your date.If he or she is not accepting or understanding, that’s probably a sign that this person is not right for you.The whole purpose of dating is to enjoy getting to know someone and having him or her enjoy getting to know you. Focus on having fun and being positive, at least as much as you can control.
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