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If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge.Or, if they do something nice for you, they feel entitled to a reward, and if you don’t do what they want, they are entitled to punish you. Your partner embarrasses you in front of other people or talks badly behind your back. They might talk to other people about how bad they have it and how hard it is to date someone like you.If he or she does something that is clearly wrong, they will find a way to turn it back around on you. They will even tell you this if they get the chance. The police have always been out to get them even though they never do anything wrong.If they hit you, they will make you feel like it was because of something you did wrong. Talk to a member of the opposite sex, they interrogate you about it. You better be ready to explain where you were and what you were doing and why you were doing it. Teachers and bosses are trying to make things hard for them on purpose.They might bring up personal issues at inappropriate times. If you work hard to fix one thing, they will find something else that is wrong. They always have an excuse or a story or someone to blame: someone caused them to act the way that they did.Even if you were perfect, your partner would make you out to be completely messed up. They can be funny, easy-going, exciting, attractive. You feel a pull to them, and they make you feel special. They act as if they are the smartest, hottest, richest or most successful person and everyone knows it. You did something wrong first to make them explode.

In other words, it’s rough, and aside from the act of cannibalism, no single reflex of the hive mind triggers such a deep-seated, troglodytic response as whom we choose to couple with.

They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper… You might think that the Bears are the best football team–your partner will convince you that you are stupid for thinking so because they suck. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation.

You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them.

They might call you fat in front of your friends, or make fun of your clothes. You don’t understand what went wrong, or why your partner acts the way they do or what you can do to make things better.

They might lose their temper in the middle of a restaurant because they think you are flirting with the waiter. You’re not always sure what the problem is, but things never add up. If you follow what they say, things still don’t get better.




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” I was so happy, I couldn’t even find words to express my gratitude. In fact, I already had so many warm feelings around my pregnancy that I quite longed for a handsome man to take me to dinner and share stories and secrets. I could live with being single, but everything about my childlessness felt wrong. If anyone wanted to call it weird, well, they weren’t welcome on this journey with me.


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To be sure, sexting has its upsides, with its anytime-anywhere accessibility. Take my friend Meredith, 25, a fashion writer who used to text her man from the office with notes like, "I'm at work - let's do it on my desk! " After a few too many drinks one night, she accidentally sent a smutty note to her best friend. I'd never sleep with Dave the Ex-Convict if I met him on the street, so why do it via text?


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