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I treasure the friendships and the memories I have made so far.

It is a pity that this year I could not commit my time to ASV-Gay but I am surely grateful for the experience.

Life has been such a roller coaster and I don’t know when it is going to stop. I knew that I was attracted to guys from a very young age – even before adolescence. But I have to live my life in the shadows (Lord forbid people find out I was a gay practicing Mormon, nothing is worse than that), and the only thing I kept hearing about my case is that as long as a gay person follows the commandments, eventually he’ll be rid of his homosexual desires!

I was raised alongside an older brother and a younger sister – raised in a very heteronormative environment: at home, at school, in the community, and especially in the church. Growing up as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I was always taught about eternal families, about happiness coming from families — you know, the kind where you have a man and a woman and a couple of kids (or 12). Everyone else got specifics like, marry in the temple, be worthy of a temple marriage, get married, have children. Guys here can chat it up with some girl, flirt, get their number, go on dates, have some fling or an actual relationship .

Even some of my self-claimed straight friends have no problem French kissing another dude during “Spin the bottle”. Dude, we’ve been friends for years and you tell us now? ” Now all my friends and some of my family members know about that side of me and so far I haven’t had any bad experience with coming out to anyone.

Being surrounded by such positivity toward homosexuality, I have grown to be more comfortable with myself and decided to live my authentic life: I started to come out to people two years ago. Having said all of that, I am aware that in many parts of the world people still experience much hatred for being a member of the LGBT community.

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Honestly, I was naïve in expecting this to be a place I’d feel God’s love, if there really is some loving Father in Heaven out there. Instead, I feel rejection and fear at every corner. I am told to hold on to the iron rod, but for how much longer? I met my “Brazilian brother from another mother” friend there and thanks to him I’ve got “attending my first gay wedding” off my list.Another special friend happens to be a Political science student, a chairman of a student political party and also a male escort.And with that belief, you can create your own Amsterdam in your community.Gay community The gay community in Amsterdam is truly amazing for its liveliness.

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