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Less darkly, what happened to the good old dinner party, the comically bad set-up date, the meet-cute fender bender? I'd soon learn that grinders weren't always bathroom-trysting and Rusty Tromboning and doing Japanese nose-torture on each other.

Some grinders were as genteel as the ladies at a book club; some wanted true love, others new friendship.

—would often die in a quick and merciful way, but many Chats ended with an agreed-to meeting place, which was unusually convenient for both of us since, by the very nature of this whole game, we lived within a block of each other.

exact location, I could see him on a map, too, in the shape of a red pushpin.

Then I would get to the point and ask him what in the hell this app really was. Is this the way straight men and women—especially straight women—want to meet and mate?

The ladies certainly wouldn't treat Chat the same way; they'd be euphemistic and vaguely lyrical (I hoped) while the males were doing something close to grunting. From a female standpoint, that might be seen as one romantic step away from being spirited into a van.

I'm so horny I've actually cried my eyes out over this.

Are you feeling the urgent need to hump someone in the general vicinity in the next seventeen minutes? Thanks to an ingenious GPS-based app called Grindr, gay men have been hooking up with other guys by whipping out their phones when they're horny. In an effort to divine the answer, Marshall Sella wades into the new world of "location-based" love The mechanics of it were simple.

I met my fellow grinders in restaurants, in bars, in coffee shops, and on park benches; we had drinks in sunshine, tea at night.

Maybe, with Blendr, it really could grow to include Everybody.

To be a grinder, unlike with or e Harmony or Ok Cupid or any of the other doddering old i Date sites, you need register no name, no password—not even a screen name.

One guy spent a pleasant half hour at a restaurant regaling me with stories—then, learning I wasn't gay, very politely stood, silently folded his cloth napkin, and exited the building.

Another took the time to text just one remark: "My bf will beat the shit out of me if he knows I'm talking to you." Which I found refreshingly concise, if vaguely unnecessary.




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