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The number one suggestion: “being available to your husband’s needs.” As if what was between my legs was the problem and not the very center of my heart. In an NPR interview that aired on July 10, Harris noted that he was finally at a place where he was able to listen to the criticism about the book, noting, “I think I’m finally at a place where I’m really trying to listen to those voices.

And I think it’s taken time for the consequences of the way that people applied the book and the way the book affected people to play out.” Harris also recently announced that he would be accepting feedback about the book via his website.

He was young after all, and there were others making the same arguments. Maybe it was his youthful status, or his rising star as a pastor, or the hip fedora on the cover of the book.

Whatever the formula, the book became the catalyst for the resurgence of courtship and is often cited as the foundational book for purity culture — a movement that uses biblical principles to encourage men and women to stay virgins before marriage.

They include the perspectives of gay pastors and women of color.

In the conversation on the impact of “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” published in the Toast, Keisha Mc Kenzie notes how purity culture worked to annihilate her cultural understandings of relationships and her body: “We were taught a lot about ‘what we don’t do,’ even though people being people actually did do those things, and were judged or dis-fellowshipped for doing them.

The previously static idea of what constitutes purity is beginning to crack, and through those cracks, voices and ideas are beginning to be heard that were formerly shut out of conversations on God and sexuality.

[TV’s ‘Jane the Virgin’: Not all leading ladies are sexually adventurous] Many of my friends at the time refused to even kiss before their wedding day, citing Harris’s books.

Since publication, the book has sold over a million copies, which is no small feat, considering that most Christian books only sell a few thousand.

a book that was in part a warning about the harm that relationships before marriage could cause.

Harris evoked images of men at the altar bringing all their past partners with them into the marriage to reinforce the point that love and sex before marriage took pieces of your heart and made you less.




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