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The underlying message is it’s not okay for her to disagree or have her own opinion. You might say, “You’re not following God or you’re being an unsubmissive wife or God hates divorce or if you really loved me or our children you would…..” The message here is that if she doesn’t do what you think she should do, God will be upset with her or you won’t be able to handle it or she is not a good/godly person.This is usually in the areas of time and money where one person makes the other person feel like a subordinate employee or child.Underneath these dysfunctional behaviors are usually attitudes of entitlement as well as unrealistic expectations of how others should be or how they should treat you.For example, perhaps you felt insulted at the restaurant because you believed that you were entitled to your wife’s undivided attention and anything less than that meant that she wasn’t interested in you or your conversations.Ask yourself were you attempting to control her friendliness with others by making her feel guilty about “slighting” you.Or you may believe, “A wife should never talk with other men, even as friends.

“You said……” when in reality the person didn’t say it that way but you twist what they said to suit your own purposes.

Here are other ways people manipulate and control others. Perhaps you will recognize using these methods to get your way.

You don’t take no for an answer but rather continue to make your point over and over again until she wears down and finally agrees with you. You use favors as a means to manipulate her into doing something that she would not have wanted to do otherwise.

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