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I guess that’s why I told my wife I loved her on our second date. But it wasn’t that she wasn’t giving me love, it just seemed to come at different times. I don’t think I noticed this consciously for a while. And after each time, there would be this look she would give me. It wasn’t something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving. And how much I’m sure those messages are bouncing around in other people’s heads as well. Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives.I had tried really hard up to that point to hold it back, honestly. I think part of me recognized that she was much smarter and more modest than me. This fire was burning in me, a fire that burned just like that second date: I was in love. Marriage, quicker than I was ready for, did this thing: it started sucking away that emotion. In other words, it was in the practicality that I found the love I was looking for. That fire I felt, it was simply that: emotional fire. I think that might be a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. It’s time that we changed the conversation about love. Because until we do, adultery will continue to be common. Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew?I wish I could say that this experience was isolated, but it’s been more the rule rather than the exception for me.

What I’m getting at is something much more fundamental. Several months ago I was in a bar/lounge type spot, with a group of 7 or 8 homegirls. And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn’t love. Telling someone you love them doesn’t mean that you do. When I look in the mirror, for the most part, I like what I see.I have thought long and hard about my relationship to food (and exercise), and I have started to make some changes in order to remain healthy.I also have both short and long term goals for doing so. So please save the condescending lectures (and arm-chair therapy) for someone else.

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