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I feel bad about a lot of things, including the fact that I sometimes feel bad about my body. Everything begins to drop, except your blood pressure and cholesterol, and you suddenly understand why Nora Ephron felt bad about her neck.Despite my ambivalence and my body issues, I like the company of men. I’ve got older than that and that underpants line is one of them. “Sorry, but I’m not interested in fulfilling some Mrs. And as expected, I hear from men, most of whom post pics of themselves holding up dead fish or standing in front of a mirror in a locked bathroom (that’s not suspicious ). One 20-something told me I was beautiful and seemed like a “really fun girl.” So, of course, I wrote back to thank him for making “Grandma’s” day. “I like older women and I know older women like hot young men,” he emailed back. (And by the way, if you’re reading this, you’re probably overdue for yours.) Nonetheless, I’m out there. I’m not even sure that sort of thing is legal.” “It’s totally legal,” he wrote back seconds later. ” I hear from 30-somethings who “really dig older women,” as well. Coffee or cocktail dates with normal guys happen occasionally. As long as I can avoid jerks like the 55-year-old guy in this Huffington Post essay who told his slightly older girlfriend that her body was “too wrinkly” for his taste, I should be fine. Yes, one look in the mirror and I can see winter is coming. Not in a big way, certainly not in an obsessed way, but like everybody else in the world (including a few of your married friends and several thousand scam artists), I’ve got a couple of online dating profiles. I usually ignore their messages — I may be vain but I’m not delusional — but now and then I’ll take a moment to set them straight.

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At the end, the original pair of daters stand in front of the other four potential mates (they are all naked, by the way) and choose who they want to spend the rest of their lives (read: the rest of the day) with. In the first episode, which aired last night, we meet our antihero, Joe.The dates make the nudity extra awkward: they prance around in inflatable plastic balls, they go boogie boarding, they paint with their penises (what else would you do on a first date?) — and the next day, they do it with a different person.Lost both the girls to surgery, all my body hair to chemo and by the time I finished radiation, my chest looked like I’d had a run-in with one of Khaleesi’s dragons. But mainly, I watch a lot of Netflix and count the days until I’m done with reconstruction. Apparently, everybody aged 18 to 88 is looking for a hookup, but I’m just not in a hookup kind of place. It’s flabby here and flawed there and I’m rocking a set of Frankenboobs that could put a dent in a Buick. The burns eventually faded and most of my hair grew back but the breasts were another matter. And, as they say, “work.” Right now I’m in the middle of reconstruction and my chest looks and feels like I’m wearing a coconut bra under my skin. Needless to say, between the cancer crap and the getting old crap, the thought of dating, sex and — gulp — getting naked with somebody for the first time is about as appealing as a colonoscopy. Guys in their 40s and 50s write to me, too, and a lot of them are usually quite charming — up to the point I give them my cell number and they send me a “melfie,” aka a selfie of their member. I guess I’m holding out for the real meal deal — somebody worthwhile, maybe even age appropriate who’s got a few battle scars of their own. But it’s also a powerhouse that’s kicked cancer to the curb and bootstrapped its way through multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, two years of boxing classes and complications of every stripe.

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