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When we decided that Larry should move back in with me, my commitment that I would never leave him, no matter what, seemed to be the final piece of the puzzle that he needed to feel secure.Remember, he had huge abandonment issues over his mother just walking out on him and his younger sister before he was five years old.We lived in separate states for three and a half years.During that time Larry went through a long period of denial, lying to me, to his counselors and to his 12 step groups.’ All I could say was ‘I’ll know it when I see it.’ We both underwent weekly counseling and Larry also attended a weekly support group for Sex Addicts as well as several 12 step meetings each week.He struggled and just could not connect with his counselor.Larry worked hard on regaining my trust while we were separated as I have outlined in some of my posts.I think the final event that sealed Larry’s recovery was a commitment that I made to him in response to all the commitments and changes that he had made.

He struggles with associating intimacy with sex as he really doesn’t understand the concept.

So, how could I make a statement like, ‘I will never leave you’? I knew I loved Larry, I knew I wanted to be with him, I knew he had made a firm commitment to never act out again, I knew that I would recognize any ‘pre acting out’ behaviors and we would deal with them immediately.

I knew that if he did have a slip that we would be able to work through it and I knew that he had made a tremendous change in the way he communicated.

I know this is possible because my husband Larry has accomplished all of these things.

The journey has not been easy for either one of us.

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