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I wrote a similar post about not initiating contact after a guy breaks up with you.

A man might make eye contact with you from across the bar, but unless he overcomes his fear or leaves his buddies in order to approach you, he isn't into you enough. A man might say he wants to see you, but unless he calls to set up a date, he doesn't care enough. A man might tell you to come and visit him, but if he cares enough, he will come to you if you suggest it.

Furthermore, a man will often be willing to engage in a relationship like this with a woman who is below his league, in the same way that many people will have lower standards for the quality of the house they lease, as opposed to the one they eventually buy.

Yes, of course, I know, there are occasional exceptions. Once in a while, a long-term relationship or even a marriage can grow out of something that started as friends-with-benefits.

At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.

While explaining her relationship with a guy she is interested in, a reader who recently wrote to me for advice reminded me of the difference between the typical male and female approach to being "friends with benefits": I guess we're friends with benefits because there's no commitment on both parts.




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