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He doesn’t care how many partners you’ve had; it’s all in the past. To find out the answer, fall back to the fundamentals: identifying the addict is the first step. One-night stands, extra-marital affairs, GPS hook-ups, obsessive online dating.And when it comes to sex addiction, that first step is a doozy. The list is long and gets darker the further down you go: compulsive masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, prostitutes.The addict has had some combination of appropriate treatment and self help support programs such as therapy with a certified sex addiction therapist, treatment in a residential or intensive outpatient program if needed, group therapy, 12-step group participation.The addict makes his own recovery a high priority in his life.If the person you are dating has been in sex addiction treatment for upwards of a year or more, then the chances are that he (or she) will not relapse into the prior behavior.Or at least will not take up the full-blown version of the compulsive behavior such as cybersex, prostitutes, pornography, anonymous sex, and so on.Megan could have left, but she chose to stay for five more rocky years. For one, he’d never expressed any interest in children. “Looking back I think mainly I wanted to keep an eye on him.” During that period they split and reunited several times, and had a second child. But also, I didn’t want to strip them of their father, half of their identity.” Like many sex addicts, Frank had been sexually abused. Prostitutes don’t take credit cards and fetish shops rarely advertise their businesses on sales receipts. Or he cashed his check and can’t explain where the money went.

“Sexual addiction follows a certain repetitive pattern; if you’d rather ask forgiveness than permission, that’s abusive." Compulsive sexual behavior, the clinical phrase for sex addiction, is what experts call a "progressive intimacy disorder," meaning that it worsens the longer it's left untreated.Megan understood he needed to recover, but she needed to get on with her life. “He was never going to recover if we kept doing the same stuff,” she says. “I didn’t realize I even had a libido,” she says, sounding giddy. Here are seven signs you might be dating a sex addict: 1. Sex addicts lose time to their addiction, becoming preoccupied with thoughts of sex and sexual material, and how to seek both out. “There’s no interest and no political will to research consensual sexual behavior as a problem,” Weiss says. If a dude wants to slip it in without slipping it on, that’s a bad sign. Her excuses are inconsistent with the facts, like citing traffic problems on a Sunday morning. If you are dealing with an addict, eventually the lack of trust will erode intimacy, and the relationship will be compromised. Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. Associated Press articles: Copyright © 2016 The Associated Press. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.“People want the problem to go away as quickly as possible, and they don’t want anyone to know.” Certainly the number of people affected goes well beyond the number of addicts. “Things came to a head when our daughter was born,” says Megan, who met and unwittingly married a sex addict in her late 20s. He might not love you enough yet, but he should love himself enough. He goes from one relationship to the next, often with a history of cheating.




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