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“After the first date, I came home, called my mother and told her that I'd had dinner with my husband,” Audrey recalls. That was a big test because my mother is very discerning.” Not about to mess around this time, Audrey put Fred through the test. He was scrutinized by anyone who was important in my life. Just a few days after her 38th birthday, her dreams had come true, and her prayers were finally answered.

“I went through all the necessary checks and balances. People who I trusted and who knew the Lord gave the OK.” By June they were engaged and by November 2004, Audrey and Fred became Mr. “I had prayed that I would someday marry my best friend, and this guy was an answer to prayer,” she says.

However, just a few years ago, life for Audrey was very different.

“My single years were spent trying to find myself,” she says. I didn't have a desire to drink myself into oblivion but the attention of someone -- anyone -- was what I craved,” she says.

The next morning (or even that night) come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship?

Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.

He too was praying for his future bride and when to approach her.

until one day when she read a common Bible verse in a whole new light.I'd have a date, then expect too much, give too much and be right back in the hole I was in before. The statistics supported my unbelief.” To help boost her chances at finding true love, Audrey tried Internet dating for a while. She picked up the pieces once again and jumped back into the dating game, but this time, she was determined to do it God’s way.She met plenty of guys but none of them seemed to work out except for one – the one Audrey calls “Ishmael.” “Everything seemed to be just right except for the gnawing thought in my brain that this wasn't the fit God had in mind,” she explains. “I had given up on ‘illegal sex’ 'cause that had brought me nothing but grief.When the streamers fell and the cheering subsided, 40-year-old Audrey Wineglass Foster stood amongst her friends and family as the unexpected guest of honor at her own birthday party. She hugged everyone who celebrated her special day.She was especially appreciative of Fred, her husband of two years.

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