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While it’s feasible Chateau L’Xpensif has a dinner jacket loaner for your beau, there’s no way he’s getting into the dining room wearing Deth Killers. Beyond the hot bike, the cool clothes, and the devil-may-care attitude, your biker guy likely has a slew of things higher on his priority list than you. Right Biker, beware: here are a few things of which you might want to be wary. We’re Probably Wearing Jeans If you were hoping for a romantic, candlelit meal at a tres-fancee restaurant, forget it.

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You know the old adage about enjoying long walks on the beach?

Been there, done that, and we’re not about to boo-hoo when (not if) it happens again. As in, “sorry ma’am, that repair bill is going to cost you a lot”. households, it’s the woman who wears the fiscal pants, so it’s really in your own best interest that the woman in your house digs motorcycles, too.

Doesn’t matter what we ride (not like she’d know the difference, anyway), your nut-job ex sees you holding hands with some girl who’s holding a helmet in the other, and suddenly, camping out on your porch with a batch of your favorite cookies on what would have been the two-year anniversary of your first date doesn’t seem like such a good idea. Not only will we approve your purchase of that vintage scrambler or the latest bike-of-the-year, we just might surprise you with it on your birthday. When some poor guy stops to ogle your bike and utters that familiar, most emasculating phrase ever voiced by the human male, “I’ve always wanted a motorcycle, but my wife won’t let me have one”, go ahead, twist that knife. Admit it: riding is a lot more fun without a 130 lbs backpack.

And even if there is a blizzard, chances are your biker buddy is in the garage, cursing over a pile of bolts and cotter pins and wondering: how in God’s name are there are parts left over? If We Are Around, We’re Late In the market for a gentleman? We Don’t Have (Much) Money Oh sure, there’s enough in the kitty for a burger and a beer, or maybe even to catch a flick. Let me be perfectly clear: Any hot single guy under 40 with a beautiful bike is likely to be as destitute as they come.

Someone looking to impress you with punctuality, chivalry, and savoir-faire? A motorcyclist will show up late, with grease under his nails, full of apologies and clutching a bouquet of pre-wrapped, doghouse roses that he picked up at the market on the way over. Hell, we might even be able to make rent this month, baby! The only riders willing and able to be sugar daddies are your father’s golfing buddies. Don’t Expect to Talk About Anything But Bikes “Honey, I’m sure you had a rough day at the office.




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