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Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. Your supply of brain cells is down to a manageable size. So, if this New Year you feel fairly well, Thank Goodness you're alive, though "Old Age is Hell". Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment and common sense.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. It is harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick 3. Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to enjoy. Having a "meaningful relationship" meant getting along with your cousins.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier. If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt your health. At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and have begun to grow in the middle. The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through the government. Fast food was what you ate during Lent and Outer Space was the back of the local theatre.

NOW that I am officially a card-carrying "Flatulus Antiquatus" (a.k.a.

Single mothers also find here help, tips and resources on financial aid for education, scholarships, grants, loans, information on support with basic necessities, affordable housing, assistance and health care, child care, child support and legal information, and many more. I've been so since I was a child, when I would happily shut myself in my room for hours, reading and writing to my heart's content. I’ve heard some crazy stories about how some of you ladies (and men) ...

Before I had children, when I was in my very young twenties, I traveled the country a lot, often times alone. Read More »Liz Murray, a woman whose parents were addicted to drugs and left her at a young age to fend for herself.

If you are too young, please tell all the "elders" you know about it; it may brighten their day. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started. You're getting old when you wake up with that morning after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before. You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas. The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. 12 years old - My mother doesn't really know everything. 45 years old - Let's go down the hallway and ask Mom what she thinks.

Oh, if any of the text on this page is too small, and you are using Internet Explorer, or Firefox, click "View" and choose "Text size" and pick whichever one you need. =: THE IMAGES OF MOTHER := 4 years old - My mommy can do anything! 14 years old - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that either. 55 years old - Wonder what Mom would have thought...

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