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I fear that my high-spirited, eleven hundred pound equine will freak out, squish me into the side panel breaking all my ribs, and generally mangling me to a bloody pulp.In early 2008 the world was shocked by Patrick Swayze’s announcement that he had pancreatic cancer.Niemi: As far as our classic arguments, yeah here and there.I’d get all pissed off because I thought he’d acted badly but he had a good reason, he had cancer.FOX411: You have harsh words to say about the tabloid coverage of your husband's illness.Niemi: We did our best not to let it influence our lives, but when there’s a headline saying he’s dying and there’s a picture of his father’s and sister’s grave and an arrow pointing to where he’s going to be buried... You know what they say is true, the grief part will get more manageable and it has.FOX411: The cancer card gets you out of everything. During one of our arguments he brought up the C word which really upset me.Not so calmly I said back to him, ‘This is happening to me too.’ The look on his face was so heartbreaking.

That made for a very, very special journey between the both of us because right from the get go we were in it together. Niemi: The actual life expectancy after diagnosis is three to six months.

If I hadn’t of been there myself I wouldn’t have believed it. FOX411: You say that had you been separated you would have reconciled when he was diagnosed.

Niemi: I was really grateful that we entered into fighting his illness from such a position of strength. I found that it got to be not a problem because my desire was so great to help him and I was so happy for every moment he was there for me.

One of the things that’s most precious to a person when they’re fighting a deadly cancer is their ability to hope, and when there’s something there reminding you that in all likelihood you’re going to die, that does a lot to hurt that hope. Passing the one year mark I really started getting a lot more relief and every month I have more and more good days.

Still you never know what’s going to come round and knock you flat. Of course the things you can pretty much count on are the holidays. I don’t think it’s been a secret that he had some drinking issues and things had gotten very bad with that. But to his credit he quit drinking and three months later I moved back in and you know at least we had a chance of working on things.

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